Van Horn's BEST Hotel? IHG's Hidden Gem Revealed!
Van Horn's BEST Hotel? IHG's Hidden Gem Revealed! (Seriously, Is It?) - A Brutally Honest Review
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I’m about to spill the beans on Van Horn's BEST Hotel. This isn't your polished travel blog fluff piece. This is real – warts, Wi-Fi woes, and all. And yes, I'm talking about IHG's "hidden gem." Right. Let's see if we can actually find it… because I'm still looking for those darn gems.
First Impressions & The "Accessibility" Tango:
Pulling up to the Best Western – sorry, I mean Van Horn's BEST (still wrapping my head around that name) – the first thing I noticed was… well, it wasn't the breathtaking view everyone raved about. It was the parking lot. And, thankfully, the accessible parking was actually, you know, accessible. Bonus points already.
Now, the accessibility inside? Mixed bag. The elevator was there, a godsend for someone with mobility issues (or, you know, carrying a mountain of luggage, like yours truly). But the hallways? Narrowish. And the automatic doors? Well, let's just say they didn't always automatically open. A few awkward shuffles and a near-miss collision later, and I was in my room.
Room Reverie (and Minor Gripes):
My room? Okay, let's be honest, it was a standard hotel room. But hey, it had an openable window! A small victory in this day and age, I'll tell you. The bed was comfy enough, pillows were plentiful (a serious win for a pillow-hater like me), and the blackout curtains actually worked! Finally, a place to sleep in peace.
The Wi-Fi… Oh, the Wi-Fi!
"Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" the website proclaimed. Lies. Okay, maybe not lies, but certainly a… creative interpretation of the truth. The Wi-Fi was spotty. Think dial-up internet of the early 2000s, but with more buffering and a healthy dose of frustration. I ended up tethering to my phone for most of my stay. Internet Services: This is where the hotel needs to step up its game. There's a LAN connection, yeah, but who uses those anymore?
Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Wi-Fi in public areas, Internet access – wireless: Ugh, the pain. The pain.
The Amenities – A Whirlwind of Possibilities (and Missed Opportunities):
They talked a big game about "ways to relax." Fitness center? Yep, a small room with some dusty equipment. Pool with a view? Technically, yes, if you squinted really, really hard and considered the parking lot a picturesque landscape. Sauna, spa, steam room? Nah. Spa/sauna? Nope. I did see a sign advertising a massage… probably a good thing I didn't try that…
Of course, there's a gym/fitness. But I am not sure you can count on it.
Food, Glorious (Potentially Questionable) Food:
Daily Disinfection in Common Areas, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment, Anti-viral cleaning products, Hand Sanitizer, all of these things are great, let’s move onto the food options.
The breakfast buffet was… well, it was there. Breakfast [buffet], Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Breakfast service, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant. It was the usual suspects: eggs, bacon (sometimes), pastries, and the ever-present, slightly-stale muffins. The coffee? Drinkable. Just. A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Bottle of water, Daily Disinfection in Common Areas… Okay, I will admit the daily disinfection in common areas was nice. So, I could survive. There was a bar – a definite plus for a weary traveler – and the poolside bar was, again, a thing. In fact, I loved that poolside bar, it was my escape.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking:
Poolside bar. This bar was amazing, and the service was impeccable! I would return simply for it! The snacks were good, too. Not a lot of options.
Services and Conveniences – The Usual Suspects:
Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center, For the kids, Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal. They were fine, not amazing.
For the Kids. I don’t have kids, so I can’t speak to this.
Accessibility – Re-Examined (A Little Bit More Carefully):
Access, CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private], Couple's room, Exterior corridor, Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Hotel chain, Non-smoking rooms, Pets allowed unavailablePets allowed, Proposal spot, Room decorations, Safety/security feature, Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms, Soundproof rooms, Getting around, Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking. There were facilities for disabled guests and they were really helpful.
Accessibility is good here! A small plus.
Things to Do – Beyond the Hotel Walls:
Honestly? Not much within walking distance. You'll need a car, or a very sturdy pair of legs. The hotel staff offered suggestions… but honestly, the suggested places were mostly things I had never heard of.
Cleanliness and Safety – The Important Stuff (and the Quirks):
They claim to be on top of cleaning and safety. I saw some (probably anti-viral) cleaning products and hand sanitizer stations. The staff seemed to be wearing masks and maintaining some distance. The room… well, it seemed clean. I'm not going to lie, I did the white glove test (because, you know, I'm a tourist). Mostly good results. I felt okay.
The Small Things – Where the Hotel Shines (Sometimes):
In-Room Amenities: Okay, the "additional toilet" was not there. There were bathrobes… kind of scratchy. The "included" essentials were okay.
Available in all rooms, Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens. The pillows were nice!
The Verdict – Is it REALLY a Gem?
Look, Van Horn's BEST Hotel is not luxury. It’s not perfect. But if you're looking for a place to sleep, a place with a poolside bar, and a halfway-decent breakfast, it'll do. It's clean-ish, safe-ish, and the staff, despite a few language barrier hiccups, were genuinely friendly.
So is it a "hidden gem?" I’m not sure. More like a slightly tarnished nugget. A place with potential. I’d probably stay there again, but I’d pack my own Wi-Fi router and lower my expectations.
My Final Quirky Observation:
The hotel seemed to attract a lot of people who were either very tired or very… well, I'm not sure. Let’s just say it was an interesting mix of characters.
The Emotional Range:
Initially, a rollercoaster of mild annoyance at the Wi-Fi, replaced by relief at the comfy bed, then back to mild
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Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're NOT constructing some pristine, perfectly-timed travel itinerary. This is going to be a messy, glorious, and probably slightly inaccurate accounting of my planned adventure, centered around the Holiday Inn Express & Suites Van Horn, because, well, someone needs a decent bed in the middle of nowhere Texas, and let's face it, Van Horn is basically, the middle of nowhere.
The (Kinda, Sorta, Maybe) Plan: Van Horn, Texas - A Holiday Inn Express & Suites Odyssey
Day 1: The Great Escape (or, the Drive from Hell…I Mean, Somewhere)
- 8:00 AM (ish): Alarm screams. Honestly, it's more of a pathetic whimper at this ungodly hour, but I wrestle it into submission. Coffee levels critical. Scramble for the car keys – always a game of hide-and-seek in my life. Pack last-minute essentials: "emergency" snacks (translation: a bag of stale pretzels and a candy bar I'll probably regret later), music playlist (mostly 80s power ballads for moments of peak existential dread), and a half-used bottle of SPF 30 that probably expired in 2018.
- 9:00 AM (approximately): Finally hit the road. The journey is already fraught with tension. My GPS, bless its digital heart, insists on trying to take me through a farm field. I swear, that robotic voice has a vendetta against me!
- 12:00 PM (or whenever I remember to eat): Pit stop at a roadside diner. The siren call of greasy food and questionable coffee is too strong to resist. Order a plate of something vaguely resembling a breakfast burrito. It's probably been sitting on the warmer for a while, but hey, gotta fuel the adventure, right? The waitress, bless her, seems to have seen it all. She's a true Texas gem.
- 5:00 PM (give or take a few hours, depending on how often I stop for gas and to admire the big sky): Finally, finally, arrive in Van Horn. The landscape blurs; it's all scrub brush and wide-open spaces. My brain feels like it's been through a washing machine.
- 5:30 PM: Check-in at the Holiday Inn Express & Suites. The lobby is a welcome sight. Clean, maybe a whiff of chlorine from the pool, and blessedly air-conditioned. The front desk person is super friendly, which is a huge win after a long drive. I'm going to give this hotel the benefit of the doubt: it's a Holiday Inn (meaning, I have reasonable expectation), and that's good enough.
- 6:00 PM: Unpack or Collapse? Let's be real: I'm probably collapsing on the bed. The first order of business is to assess the room's cleanliness. So far, so good. The sheets look clean, which is a huge relief. Is there a mini-fridge? Are there enough pillows? These are the real hotel-stay questions, people!
- 7:00 PM: Dinner in Van Horn. The only restaurant that seemed alive during my short research? This is the most critical decision of the day. I've been driving for ages. My stomach is rumbling. I'm craving something…everything. (And what’s that place called again? Must find info!)
Day 2: Mountains, Mules, and Maybe Mild Madness
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast at IHG. The complimentary breakfast better be worth it. I'm hoping for waffles, some kind of decent coffee, and maybe a tiny, pre-packaged muffin. Honestly, all would be okay (as long as I don't feel like it was sitting there for a week). This will set the tone for the day. A good breakfast can make or break a trip, IMO.
- 9:00 AM: (Attempt) Hiking. I've been told there are some nice hikes in the area. Hiking is my nemesis. I'm more of a "sit on a rock and admire the scenery" kind of person. Wish me luck. I'm expecting a sore butt/feet.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch and Rest: After the hike, a hearty lunch is in order. Time to find a local place that's open. Or, maybe just a gas station burrito, if all else fails. Then, back to the hotel for a long nap. Bliss.
- 2:00 PM: This is where things get hazy. Maybe I try to drive around and pretend to be a photographer? Or go to those caves? Okay, that sounds cool. But the heat, the drive, the… (sigh) … I'll probably go back to the hotel and sleep.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner (again!) Repeat the eating process. This time, something different. Try something new. Talk to some locals. Maybe I'll make a friend!
Day 3: Farewell, Van Horn - Until Next Time (Maybe)
- 8:00 AM: Another Breakfast! This time, I’m strategizing. Grab extra fruit. Maybe sneak a muffin for the road.
- 9:00 AM: Check-out. Farewell, lovely Holiday Inn Express & Suites! You were my haven.
- 9:30 AM: The Long Drive Home. The drive back. The endless highway. I'll probably listen to more power ballads. and ponder all the things in life.
- 12:00 PM (approx): Lunch stop. Another greasy dive. I'm a sucker for 'em.
- 5:00 PM (or when the car craves its last mile): Home. Exhausted, slightly sunburned, and with a vague sense of existential accomplishment.
Quirky Observations and Emotional Reactions:
- The Sky: The Texas sky is HUGE. Like, offensively large. You can practically see the curvature of the Earth. It definitely makes you feel small, which is either terrifying or incredibly freeing, depending on the mood.
- The People: Folks in Texas, well, they're nice. Genuinely nice. They say "yes, ma'am" and "yes, sir" and actually, mean it. It's a refreshing change!
- The Hotel Experience: The Holiday Inn Express & Suites? It’s a hotel. It's comfortable and clean and the breakfast is probably decent. It's basically what I needed.
The Messy Bits and Occasional Rambles:
I can't guarantee this itinerary will be followed to the letter. Life, as usual, will probably have other plans for me. There will be unexpected delays, wrong turns (guaranteed), and moments of sheer, blissful boredom. I might spend an entire afternoon in the hotel room, reading a book. Or, I might become a complete stranger to myself.
This is the beauty of it all, though, right? It's the imperfect, the unplanned, the spontaneous. It's the messiness of travel that makes it so…memorable (and often, laugh-out-loud funny, even if it's just to myself later).
So, here's to Van Horn, to the Holiday Inn Express & Suites, to greasy food, open skies, and the freedom to be perfectly imperfect. Wish me luck, folks. I'm going to need it.
(P.S. I'm already dreading the drive back.)
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Van Horn's BEST Hotel: FAQs - Because Let's Be Real, You NEED to Know This Stuff
Okay, spill. Is this place *really* an IHG hidden gem? Like, is it worth the detour? (And can you even FIND Van Horn?)
What's the actual *room* like? And… is it clean? (This is a HUGE deal, people!)
Breakfast! Tell me about the breakfast! Is it the usual sad, sad hotel fare?
Is there a pool? Because, you know, Texas.
Okay, aside from the pool (and Brenda!), any other redeeming qualities? Good, bad, or just *weird*?
Would you stay there again? Be honest!
